I’m pretty much the best longneck since Littlefoot.

I’m pretty much the best longneck since Littlefoot.

I told you those were fudgsicle stains on my underpants.

I told you those were fudgsicle stains on my underpants.

Sometimes I shake my dandruff into a bowl and eat Frosted Flakes for dinner.

Sometimes I shake my dandruff into a bowl and eat Frosted Flakes for dinner.

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that I know how to put a condom on my dangus without using a manual.

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that I know how to put a condom on my dangus without using a manual.

Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams.

Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams.

At first I was addicted to Breaking Bad but now I’m addicted to crystal meth.

At first I was addicted to Breaking Bad but now I’m addicted to crystal meth.

For the best possible look, try touching your chin to your Adam’s Apple.

For the best possible look, try touching your chin to your Adam’s Apple.

Quit your crying and follow Baseball Card Vandals on Instagram!  http://instagram.com/baseballcardvandals

Quit your crying and follow Baseball Card Vandals on Instagram! http://instagram.com/baseballcardvandals

You can get a good look at a butcher’s ass by sticking your head up there but wouldn’t you rather take his word for it?

You can get a good look at a butcher’s ass by sticking your head up there but wouldn’t you rather take his word for it?

That’s why I keep this ugly jumpsuit and long john’s on all summer long.

That’s why I keep this ugly jumpsuit and long john’s on all summer long.

Where can a cat get some friggin’ lasagna around here?

Where can a cat get some friggin’ lasagna around here?

Will relief ever cum?

Will relief ever cum?

H.A.K.A.S. from Agent P.

H.A.K.A.S. from Agent P.

What’s your price for flight?

What’s your price for flight?

It goes on your tits not your kibbles n’ bits.

It goes on your tits not your kibbles n’ bits.