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I got legs. I know how to use them.
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I got legs. I know how to use them.

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My butt is the exact size of two NBA basketballs smashed together, hard.
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My butt is the exact size of two NBA basketballs smashed together, hard.

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Cool story, bro.
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Cool story, bro.

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Or socks.
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Oh, that’s what it is. I thought my wall had a tail.
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Oh, that’s what it is. I thought my wall had a tail.

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We all know I’ve never fucked anything.
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We all know I’ve never fucked anything.

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Thanks, Obama.
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Thanks, Obama.

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pizzzatime:

baseballcardvandals: Have a killer weekend, everybody. - Own this BCV original.

pizzzatime:

baseballcardvandals: Have a killer weekend, everybody. - Own this BCV original.

See if you can plant your seed in that fertile soil.
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See if you can plant your seed in that fertile soil.

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There’s no crying in baseball!
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There’s no crying in baseball!

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You’ve got to learn the fundamentals if you want to drive it straight to the hole and slam dunk your dangus.
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You’ve got to learn the fundamentals if you want to drive it straight to the hole and slam dunk your dangus.

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I don’t know what it is, but dudes just throw themselves at me.
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I don’t know what it is, but dudes just throw themselves at me.

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I’m Mike D and I get respect. Your cash and your jewelry is what I expect.
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I’m Mike D and I get respect. Your cash and your jewelry is what I expect.

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This is the worst job I’ve ever had.
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This is the worst job I’ve ever had.

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Can you feel the tension? I can. I can feel it down in my plums. Getting a nice, bluish hue. Getting ready to take them down to the farmer’s market. 
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Can you feel the tension? I can. I can feel it down in my plums. Getting a nice, bluish hue. Getting ready to take them down to the farmer’s market. 

Own this BCV original.