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I invented the term “pyramid scheme”.
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I invented the term “pyramid scheme”.

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I’d give my right eye to get it back.
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I’d give my right eye to get it back.

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It looks and smells like vomit but I’m gonna eat it anyway.
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It looks and smells like vomit but I’m gonna eat it anyway.

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And give yourself a hand if you can find it.
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And give yourself a hand if you can find it.

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But wear a condom unless you want to want to produce the Next Generation.
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But wear a condom unless you want to want to produce the Next Generation.

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Does a woman have to show her Monster Balls to get an Oscar around here?
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Does a woman have to show her Monster Balls to get an Oscar around here?

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When I get depressed, I get really poetic about it.
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When I get depressed, I get really poetic about it.

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Workin’ so I won’t have to try so hard.
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Workin’ so I won’t have to try so hard.

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CHECK IT OUT: You can own your favorite original Baseball Card Vandals art!

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Hey, ya dinguses! Ever been to SHOPBASEBALLCARDVANDALS.COM? Well you don’t have to be DOCTOR to CHECK IT OUT. Studies say that laughing is COOL and owning original art is PRESTIGIOUS. So go buy yourself a piece of WEIRD INTERNET HISTORY before the whole web crashes forever. I know you like Dan Quisenbrangus, so OWN HIS CARD, ya turkey. It’s FOR YOUR HEALTH. 

GIMME A KISS love you bye.

Totes sluts for butts.
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Totes sluts for butts.

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Throwback Thursday to when me and a good friend went to catch a glimpse of Channing’s Tatum on the silver screen.
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Throwback Thursday to when me and a good friend went to catch a glimpse of Channing’s Tatum on the silver screen.

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My mouth smells like my down-south.
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My mouth smells like my down-south.

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Happy hump day from an unhappy Wednesday.
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Happy hump day from an unhappy Wednesday.

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Life ain’t easy on the Street.
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Life ain’t easy on the Street.

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Gotta keep your dog on a leash.

Gotta keep your dog on a leash.