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Baseball Card Vandals: Decent Jokes on Worthless Cards, Vandalized By Two Brothers With Nothing Better To Do.
Beau and Bryan Abbott, two brothers born in the 1980’s in a town called Springfield, spent their entire childhood obsessing over baseball cards. For well over a decade, every last dime of their allowance money went to funding their beloved collections. But as anyone who collected cards in the 80’s and 90’s knows, roughly 99.9% of these once sought-after collectibles are now barely worth the price of the cardboard they’re printed on. What to do then with the remnant boxes, binders and heaping mounds of these worthless yet somehow irresistibly charming relics? Well, a long time ago these two artistically-inclined weirdos picked up their Sharpies and their most mediocre cards and began scribbling strange jokes all over them in endlessly shameless and shameful attempts at making one another laugh. Inexcusably, they’ve continued to do this into adulthood, and they recently decided to share their work with the outside world. The result is www.baseballcardvandals.com, the most ardently irreverent, beautifully nonsensical, brilliantly gross and sometimes surprisingly sublime thing on the internet. This inventive gallery of farce will make the most unique, hilarious, nostalgic and visually captivating book no one EVER knew they wanted so bad.
Every post on www.baseballcardvandals.com (there are nearly 200 and counting) serves as an example of our concept and style, and we have hundreds of hilarious unpublished cards waiting for their chance at internet/Chronicle Books stardom. Below is a small sample of some of our greatest hits, adjusted to fit the contest guidelines (all logos and brand names blacked out). Perusing the site you will notice we have a wide, strange range of jokes that are sometimes extremely G-rated, sometimes extremely NSFW and sometimes just the draping of underwear over a baseball bat. We surprise ourselves every time we sit down with cards and a marker, and the Baseball Card Vandals book will leave readers with no clue what to expect next as they turn the pages.